Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard (PS3)

"Makes fun of the classic video games (you'll recognize these enemies and bosses). If you get the jokes, you'll also be prepared for the difficulty, and a lot of dying. Fortunately it has a save system. Sadly, there's no way to interrogate enemies!"

Portal (PC)

"WCC, I love you!"

Descent (MAC)

"This game supports every 3D gaming accessory ever made. And it rules."

Tabula Rasa (PC)

"Like a fine musical instrument, it gets better the more you play. Beautifully designed zones, adrenelin-pumping action, and ... going away. *sob*"

Characters:

Bret Talen, Level 24 Sapper — Bret has always loved creating things with his hands, and then causing them to violently self destruct by remote control. Now, he's putting those skills to work in the Army Reser... wait, that's not right!

Brock Talen, Soldier — Brock isn't really sure what he wants out of life, but he knows it includes sideburns and light beer.

Laverna Talen, Level 9 Guardian — Laverna's a guardian, or at least she's going to be, one day. She *will* kill you.

Half-Life (PC)

"Classic. Just classic. Weird, but classic."

Deus Ex (PC)

"If you've played a modern first-person "RPG", you've seen gameplay elements lifted from from Deus Ex."

Deus Ex: Invisible War (PC)

"It wasn't really as deep and involving as a Deus Ex title should be, and the levels are awfully sparse because it was really a ported PS2 title, but I still like it. Bite me!"

Grand Theft Auto III (PC)

"It's like every game ever made that is "like Grand Theft Auto". OK?"

StarCraft (PC)

Sins of a Solar Empire (PC)

"I'd play this all the time if I didn't have six dozen other games to play all the time."

Puzzle Pirates (PC-MAC)

"I'm not quite sure this is how real pirates did it... but what do I know? I love it, but just don't have a place for puzzles in my life right now. Is that sad or what?"

Server: Viridian

Fallout 2 (PC)

"It's like Fallout, but broken in many ways. And still better than most new games."

Half-Life 2 (PC)

"OK, I guess. Eagerly awaiting the zombie panic mod's release. Someday."

Sim City DS (DS)

"It's the original Sim City ported to yet another platform. The Nintendo DS is a great place to run a simulation, and this game is the classic. Keep an eye on your water supply, or they'll all break!"

The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind (PC)

"Morrowind does go on and on, but there's a lot of stuff to do and see. Very well done, but it will suck up a lot of time. I hear good things about the expansions and mods, but have never tried 'em."

Wipeout Pure (PSP)

"Lives up to my expectations from a Wipeout game. Very fast, very challenging. The tracks are not the best in the wipeout series, but worth racing on."

Grand Theft Auto IV (X360)

"Revived my love for the GTA series--at first. The only bad part is... if having friends was this annoying in real life, I wouldn't have any. They're so annoying, they made me want to stop playing. Now playing Saint's Row 2 instead, it's a lot more fu"

FEAR (PC)

"Well, it was sort of spooky, I guess. The combat didn't inspire me. The levels didn't inspire me. The plot didn't hold my attention. But still a pretty good game, I guess."

City of Villains (PC)

"It's City of Heroes, but with some new maps, and lame teenagers who don't know how to play on a team."

Neverwinter Nights (PC)

"It gets better as you get into it. If you like that kind of thing, it's great."

World of Warcraft (PC-MAC)

"It's... really dull. Not bad, just dull."

Guild: pwnstoppable

Characters:

Aromatherapy, Level 13 Night Elf Druid — She's, like, into crystals and, like, magical stuff because, like, there are a lot of things we don't understand? So, if you can tap into that energy? You can really, like, you know? Be more powerful by focusing your energy through like crystals? WTB [Natural Hemp Cloth] PST?

Eched, Level 26 Gnome Warrior — Prefers hammers slightly larger than he is.

Glarp, Level 13 Human Mage — The standard Hollywood big, friendly guy of questionable sexual alignment. Is he gay? Nobody seems to know. More interested in making flashy clothes than in actually fighting anything. (But currently too low level to have really nice clothes yet.)

Shawney, Level 29 Night Elf Hunter — Shawney does not want to be your online girlfriend. Not even if it's just online and not IRL. Really.

Kingdom of Loathing (WEB)

"I love the game, but for some reason don't find it addictive."

Two Worlds (PC)

"It does get repetetive, but I put a lot of time into it before I got bored. Any game with skeletal horses gets a thumbs up from me. "

Hellgate: London (PC)

"The big guns are fun. Ultimately disappoints. This quote sums it up: 'You'll encounter the same zombie you see in the first zone throughout the entire game, including the very last levels. Same palette. I'm serious here.' --BryanM"

Characters:

Fluenza, — HCE is no place for a Blademaster. That's why he's not one!

Shawney, — US. Engineer. Any gun larger than your entire torso is a good gun.

Doom 3 (PC)

"Darkness. Demon. Yipe! Darkness. Demon. Yipe! Darkness. Demon. Is this really the whole game?"

MapleStory (PC)

"I tried it. And that says it all really."

StarCraft Expansion Set: Brood War (PC)

Wipeout HD

"I've been anticipating this game since before the PS3 was announced. I am NOT addicted."

Diablo III (PC)

"I *was* looking forward to it, and then... Microtransactions."

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2)

"How can stealing cars and doing crimes be boring? Well, it is."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl (PC)

"It's fairly good. High immersion factor. Sequel apparently in the works? Would make a decent MMO."

Baldur's Gate (PC)

"The walking! The walking! "You're funny lookin'.""

The Ship

"A neat concept. Yet another game on the "if I had more time to spend gaming, I'd play this" list."

Haze

"It's not remotely a Halo clone. Not at all. Really. We promise. (Actually it's quite well done, but...)"

Guild Wars (PC)

"Wait, the entire world is an instance? Some days I wish I could do this IRL. "

Auto Assault (PC)

"It's unfinished. It's lame. It's as good as it gets, if a car with a roof mounted flame thrower is what you want. I'll always remember blowing buildings to bits just because I could. RIP."

Guild: Joiner

StarCraft 2 (PC-MAC)

"I don't usually like RTS or empire-building games, but it's Starcraft, man! Starcraft!"

City of Heroes (PC)

"Great teams made this game great. I still pick up a time card once in a while."

Server: Virtue

Guild: Joiner

Characters:

Strawberry Daiquiri, Level 48 Technology Tanker — A daiquiri is rum and lime.

Vanilla Soy Latte, Magic Controller